Random thoughts...

the past three weeks since the montreal quebec trip has been hellish. actually, ever since i left singapore, everyday has been filled with some action or other, good or bad. only now, after all the "studying" is finally over, do i have time to reflect on this journey.

I have always wanted to study abroad. It seems such a cool and glamorous experience, and to be able to tell others that you're an overseas graduate. ever since that dream failed to realise, i tried to and somehow managed to convince myself that a singapore degree is not that bad after all. when i had the chance to study overseas, credits to NUS, I didn't dare think of applying for sep as it seems such a tedious process, and the costs of it is daunting as well. but apply I did, raise money I did and study abroad I did. I finally realise, that studying abroad is a tough but potentially rewarding journey. having to cope without the comfort of home, without physically seeing and holding your loved ones is always difficult. having to stay with friends is fun, but it also brings out the best and worst in people. meeting people and making friends whom may or may not last beyond the 4 months here makes me realise the importance of my friends back home even more. interacting and blending into a different culture is rather fun, but i also finally understand how discrimination works and how it feels to be at the receiving end. being outside my comfort zone, miles and miles away from my comfort zone, i am forced to be more independent, althought the stubborn instincts to be reliant and passive still refuses to budge. but at least i am learning to survive by myself.

U of T is pretty ok, but I am definitely not liking lessons that stretch for 3 hours on end as its very draining, especially when the lecturer is boring and people ask stupid questions. It's funny how in Singapore, most people have the impression that westerners are far superior than us, but in actual fact, if one looks carefully beyond the vocal facade, there is really no difference between them and us. there are brilliant people, but like any places, there are silly people around. I've never ever slacked so much in my entire life and it definitely is hard work trying to pass, because the motivation isn't there while the distractions are aplenty. at least everythings' more or less over.... frankly, im looking forward to mugging back in NUS... it gets rather scary when the motivation to do things burns out...

Travelling is probably the main attraction for SEP. For the amount of money that I spend in 4 months and the number of places I have been to/going to, its cheap. travelling has always been an eye-opener for me, but it has also made me feel most strongly that being away from home and being on the road can be a dangerous adventure. murphy's law is definitely correct, what can go wrong will go wrong. So, travellers can never ever be too careful.

4 months doesn't seem like a very long time and indeed it isnt'. however, a lot of things can happen within this period of time, and i hope one of these things is that I've learnt to be more independent and stronger. I've realized how much I love my family, especially since for 21 years, i've taken things for granted. with the new addition to my family, i hope things stay happy and simple always. i have also realised how it is to really love and miss someone and how it is to feel loved and missed. thanks piggy. i love u.

its funny, however things happen, we have the ability to adapt to the situation, albeit sometimes it can be a painful or unpleasant one. there are many things which can happen, but there can only be one outcome, which we must make the best out of. I feel lucky that, so far SEP has been going quite well, and i do hope that i can it will remain that way until i get back home... I feel lucky for having u in my life, for having the wonderful friends I have... for my family.

I thought SEP has been an expensive experience and I always wonder if i learnt anything important. I guess I did.