every moment that i feel happy, i feel disgusted at myself at the same time for being happy, because i am feeling happy at the expense of someone else. i really dunno how long i will take to feel a little better abt being happy... i really dun... i feel greedy... i feel selfish... i feel angry even, for gg ahead n doing something which did not feel right from the very beginning, pretending everything is right, making promises i can nv fulfil, n doing something wrong at the end. i know i hurt someone real bad. i wish i could bear all the hurt myself...why did i have to need another person to know wat my heart truly needs? all i wanted was a love tt's stress free, tt will let me be myself, tt will let me love the other person even without losing my sense of identity, tt will let me love him much more den i love myself, tt will let me risk doing things tt r pure absurdity. is this all bad timing? i honestly dunno who will really understand wat i have done, why i have done wat i did. i dun expect ppl to think well or approve of what i did. i dun need any of tt actually, becos i followed wat my heart told me to do, even though it hurts everytime i think of the destruction this decision brought. even if in the end, i lose everything, i will not regret, bcos i have done wat i want to do. i jus hope one day, things will be alright.
离开错的才能和对的相逢。。。 到现在，我知道这是真的，对于他，感觉是对的，对于他，除了亏欠，还是亏欠。我不知道如何帮他愈合伤口，我想我应该做不到。希望对的人能出现，让他幸福。也希望，我是对的人，带给他幸福。。。希望，希望。。。
我是不是个差经的人？或许吧，可是现在，我只能说抱歉，我想往前走，因为再回头一切都会是不一样，而结果却还会是一样的。。。对不起，对不起。。。
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