the weeks of sch semesters seem to pass extremely quickly, the cycle of monday blues n tgif is really rapid, friends have passed their 21st birthdays n gone back to their foreign lands to study, n the rest of us r jus working hard n looking forward to the holidays. For me, CCS 2008 came to a wonderful conclusion on 230208 after these few months of work, n it was a great relief as well as a memorable experience. Congrats Geraldine n thanks to those who helped out in one way or another!
260208 was fishing day! yx n me suddenly had this crazy idea to go fishing n the day before, we headed to changi v to buy a fishing rod, which cost us ard $40 including equipments. we managed to catch 2 fishes which albeit being small, still gave us first-timers a sense of achievement! however, i must admit its a rather cruel thing esp when u have to retrieve the hooks from the fishes. it really isn't a pleasant sight to behold. in the morning, seeing the old birds fish put us to shame, cos they caught huge fishes, compared to ours. but well! we shall do better next time~



well, recently, even though my busy schedule has kept me well occupied, my mind sometimes still drifts back to manfred. not tt i still yearn for him, but rather, he seems such a distant figure, n when i try to recall the times that we spent together, they feel so surreal, as if it was another jennifer. it makes me feel a sense of detachment, of discontinuity in my life, was I another person when i was with manfred? is this the precise reason why i couldn't stay with him, because i seemed to "lose" myself? but whatever the reason may be, i know this is already part of my history, n i really look forward to life with yx, n i really hope that i'll be the real jennifer from here on. i know tt manfred probably hates me now, is totally disgusted now, but he was a v dear n close friend, n deep in my heart, i feel hurt tt i hurt him, feel hurt cos i lost a good friend. i swear i'll never hurt anyone like this again, i'd rather be the only one hurt...

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Life is so fragile, so vulnerable...it's a game of chance

I was tucking in to my noodles, when in a split second, I heard a crash followed by squeals from some people. Then, I felt as if I was in a dream, a terrible dream. I saw a giant structure of metal tilting, falling, and then, a final gigantic crash, before clouds of dust drifted up and people started trying to figure out what had happened. I prayed that it was just a simple malfunction of machines, I hoped that no one would be harmed. But I learnt that the innocent machine was guilty afterall. I learnt that Superman exists only in people's hearts, because I saw today that, life is so fragile, so unpredictable. This has affected me greatly, but it has taught me to treasure life, and to fight for life.

generally happy but busy

ok i shldn't be blogging but the TB irks me... so ya... haha

CNY seems the same every year, but every year, there are still changes. The people are basically the same, but since the elder generation passed on, i.e grandparents, the formality has been greatly reduced. Nonetheless, it's an opportunity to chat with my cousins, all of whom are getting bigger, more matured, v unlike when we were still kids playing catching. Haven't had the chance to see my maternal side relatives, of which i feel rather guilty. somehow, CNY is a time of realisation, of how fast time passes, n how ppl grow up n den grow old. i guess this inevitability has taught me to enjoy the journey, n not jus look forward to the destination, which of cos in this case is death. not exactly happy! haha... but anw, i wish the ppl i love, the ppl i know, the ppl i will know, n the ppl whom i'll never know, will have more happiness n less sorrow. :)

Valentine's day... in secondary school, I envied those girls who received gifts fr admirers, cos I myself received no such thing. in jc, it became a day where S72 exchanged little gifts n no one was left out. a yr ago, i received a bear n a bouquet of roses fr a guy (courtesy of 2 girls anw), but i was happy n surprised, even though i now feel Vday is a commercialised day, as it was my first real Vday gift afterall. This yr, i received a meaningful present from another guy. A gift of sincerity n thought, which i guess i have always craved for. Thank you dear.

CCS is drawing near n after sat's rehearsal, i think the actual event should go pretty smoothly n i really look foward to its conclusion!!!

Argh... school, as usual, is busy busy busy. but i'll survive :)

yest had squad reunion dinner cum Yuelin's 21st bday at PL's house. i would say it was a success despite the gross excess of food n my $16 loss at mahjong! :(

HAPPY CNY!!!

i wish for a happier new year for everyone!!!

SCH

as a sad reality of life is finally sinking in... with the tutorials starting. so far so good, but I'm not exactly looking forward to the essays that have to be handed up and the tests to be mugged. It doesn't help that I'm rather far behind in my readings. But hey! Life is much more than studies... have to earn money, which is a scarcity now, prepare for CCS... my dear geraldine has been v stressed over this and I seriously wonder why I'm not half as stressed. But if you're reading this, geraldine: CCS 08 will be a great success!!! :) CNY is closing in, as is dear superman's bday (quite anticipating his reaction to my mission outcome), VDAY (which is too commercialized, but then again, who wouldn't wish to celebrate it with their loved ones?).... and ya... in the not too distant future, my 21st Bday... no plans at all to celebrate it... I've only attented one 21st bday celebration so far... n I really think its quite an expensive affair to invite anyone n everyone u know. I'll be happy enough to spend it with close ones :)

Getting to know more abt yx these past days, and needless to say, my feelings for him grow more each day... yet, at the back of my mind, I still can't really come to terms with what I have done. I really wonder how mf's coping, I can't deny that I'm rather concerned abt him, afterall, he's still a special friend. Should I chat with him? But how am I supposed to face him as if nothing has ever happened? It feels weird, this situation. Nevertheless, I still hope that he still regards me as a friend, as the last thing on my mind is to hurt and lose friends. Yup.

Back again to the harsh fact of life that drives us like gears in a huge machinery... grinding and turning, trying to achieve something. Hopefully I can summon enough strength, energy and determination to cope with the trivialities of administration stuff and the gruel mugging.